My Question and Me

Anger is a part of everybody’s life. Emotions are difficult to control, and anger seems to be just another simple emotion. This emotion, however, is usually negative. It can often lead to destruction, whether mentally, physically, or emotionally. It seems like most people in the world simply accept anger as an inevitability, and therefore do nothing to quell it when it comes. They believe anger comes from the subconscious, and do not have the will power to attempt to change. On the other hand, I have seen many sides of anger, and I realize that anger can rarely, if ever, coexist with happiness. I have also come to understand that anger is moldable and controllable. It can be shaped from something destructive into something constructive. I believe that anger is never a necessary emotion. It is always replaceable. So, this main problem that we face is not about the inability to control anger. Rather, it is about the unawareness that our anger can be controlled.

One way that I think people can work to avoid unnecessary bursts of anger is to simply know yourself. If you understand the way that you think, if you can figure out the framework and inner workings of your brain, then you will be able to allow your emotions to surface, and essentially become part of your conscious thinking. I understand the things that make me angry, so I am able to recognize when I get into potentially harmful situations and avoid any anger before it even starts. Also helpful is to know those around you as best as possible. If you are around the same people often, it is extremely advantageous to understand how they tick, and what u could do that might make them angry. This is especially true in marriage. I have seen many couples that might love each other dearly, but still have yet to understand how each other’s minds work after even twenty years of marriage. I have seen one spouse say something to another spouse that even I could tell would anger them, even though I only have known them a fraction of the time that they have known each other. Essentially, it is important not only to know somebody, but to try to understand them as best as possible as well.

In fact, I often feel sorry for people that I know that have a hot temper. Without these negative emotions, everybody could live much happier and more fulfilling lives. The more people get angry, the less they try to control it, and succumb to their anger more and more often. If people were taught from the beginning, however, that anger is a conscious, controllable emotion, the world would be a much more enjoyable place to live. Emotions always seem to radiate out from a source. When you show a negative emotion, it spreads to others around you, and eventually everybody’s negativity is keeping the group frozen in a downward state. Likewise, if you are constantly happy or positive, the people around you will feel that as well. Emotions can change drastically in an instant, which is why it is important to be able to control yourself as best as possible, since the control you have on yourself doubles as the control you have over those around you as just described.

What I have been doing in the past year or so can only be described as somewhat of self-therapy. I have been attempting to learn from my life experiences. After everything that I feel, or any significant event in my life, I have reflected on what I did right and wrong, and how I could have handled the situation differently. This was not in the “coulda-woulda-shoulda” sense of dwelling on the past, but rather, I used it more as a means to learn for the future. For me, this is especially true in volleyball. Whether a practice or a game, I am always stopping and adjusting to improve my game. This comes in the good and the bad. During the writing of this essay, my volleyball team got embarrassed by our cross-town rivals, Highland Park. There are some major issues within the mentality of much of the team that is hard to deal with. This is exactly where this issue comes in. It has taken all of my mental toughness not to just get angry that I am not playing more and it is becoming increasingly difficult to stay positive through these tough times that our team is currently experiencing. However, I have managed to keep my mental state as a constant thought in the back of my mind. I realize that I am the sole reason for my being down, and I am the only person who can change that. It starts at practice tomorrow. I got nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I can only increase my playing time, and still have a ton of room to grow back from where I was before my three-week vacation and my week-and-a-half absence due to a sprained ankle.